Closure

I suppose I've finally come to some form of closure in this phase of my life. Things have been unsettled, and in certain aspects a big way, but through it all I've been dealt a lesson that God is my pillar of strength, that I should look to nowhere else, that I should not take matters into my own hands and that I should focus on Him.

It is always a matter of faith.

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't though of that" and promply vanishes in a puff of logic.

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

As blasphemous as Douglas Adams was in Hitchhikers', it does illustrates the point that faith is the antithesis of logic and rationality. With faith you step off the cliff knowing that somehow you'll survive, with faith you let go of all the work you have painstakingly done and leave it in the hands of God. And it is faith that I have a problem with.

Christianity is a logical religion. Indeed, it is, if I dare say, the most rational and logical religion. Anything and everything can be proven somehow, or shows inherent wisdom and logic within it, but yet it all stems from a singular act of illogical and irrational faith.

So do not worry saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Romans 6:31-33

And that is my struggle. I have been rational all this while. Or at least I try to be. But my faith in God has always been a nagging issue. I know He's there, but I just cannot put down things I have been holding on to and entrust everything in His hands. And thus these things that happened in the past month or so happened, and in taking away those things that I hold on to, I am told to focus on Him.

I hope I have learnt my lesson, and that I can renew my spiritual walk with renewed fervor and devotion. Because I know He will restore those things, but only at His own time.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5,6

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to cast away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time for war, And a time for peace.


Ecclesiastes 3:1-8