Loss. And learning to live right.

Sitting down, sometimes I think a lot of life's lessons have been lost on me. Time and time again I thought I had learnt my lesson from the school of hard knocks, but yet, when I get round the corner thinking all is shiny and happy again I screw up and make the same old mistakes.

God knows how many chances He gave me, how many I threw away. Each day when you think you've done it again, you ask for His forgiveness, for His Grace, and you receive it. Yet, the very next day, when that pain has passed, when the memory of the deed has faded when you think all is fine and well, you commit the same crime. Whatever poignant lesson was doled out seemed to be taken ever so lightly by my hardened heart, by a spirit not His but my own.

I need to make lessons stick. And stick well. And not shut the door on Him.